LEGACY

This handsome guy standing next to me (I'm the one in the unfortunate pants) is my big brother, Billy.  Bill Jackson to most. Today I have been bombarded with reminders of him.  He had a very aggressive cancer and died 5 years ago. I miss him all the time, but I can't think of him without smiling because he just made me smile...all the time!  It was a gift.  He encouraged everyone around him, and even when he was enduring the painful indignities of desperate medical measures, he found humor in the process.  He made every story an adventure.  You may have noticed that I admired him greatly.  

My day began this morning at 4:00 A.M. when my sister and I woke up early to take our parents to one of the fifty thousand Baylor hospitals in Dallas (a one hour drive unless it is rush hour, then it is a 24 hour drive). I have devoted more than one blog post to my parents because they are an inexhaustible source of inspiration and humor.  Of course, they have had 91 and 92 years to produce all of this encouraging fodder. That is one hundred and eighty-three combined years! 

Mentally they are still about 35 years old, but physically time keeps playing mean tricks on them.  Today it was Mom's turn. It seems there is a tumor on or near her kidney, so we went to have a biopsy.  (I say we, but Mom was the one with the giant needle sticking in her!) As usual, she looked beautiful and prepared for the day.  Did I mention we picked them up at 5 A.M.? Dad became best friends with the admitting office personnel, the nurses, the doctors, the technicians and even the girls at Starbucks. That's what he does! Mom just quietly modeled what the ideal patient should be: attentive, compliant, caring attitude...you get my drift. 

In the hours we spent at the hospital complex I didn't know what to expect, but it never dawned on me that the day would be filled with reminders of Billy. 

In our search for chocolate, Shirley and I ventured out to the neighboring hospital, and there was the fountain, and the familiar gold elevators that instantly transported me to thoughts of Billy.

For the remainder of the day with Mom and Dad, the forefront of our thoughts were of course with my mother and her procedure and the uncertain outcome. I should clarify. The outcome of the biopsy is uncertain, but not my parents future in this world or the life to come.  What I am sure of is that however many years God gives them, they will live lives of joy and of trust in God; they will encourage those around them; and they will always point people to Jesus. One hundred and eighty-three years of experience tells me this. 

In the background of my mind today, thoughts of Billy lingered, and then the most beautiful thing happened!  I was driving along to my sister Lynda's house when a beautiful song came on the radio. Not just any song.  This Christian song was hugely popular a few years ago, but is not played very often anymore.  It was written and sung by the talented Nicole Nordeman. What made this song so remarkable today, with bittersweet memories of Billy, is that Nicole sang it at Billy's funeral.  I didn't even know that they were personal friends until she began to sing that day. I learned that he quietly invested his life into MANY others and never looked for recognition in what he did.  We did not know a fraction of the things he did for others! Read the words of this chorus and enjoy the sweet gift that God gave as this song filled my car and my heart!

I want to leave a legacy.

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to you enough

to make a mark on things?

I want to leave an offering.

A child of mercy and grace

who blessed your name,

 unapologetically,

and leave that kind of legacy.

Of course, it helps to have Nicole's hauntingly beautiful voice singing these lyrics, but what a fitting song for Billy, and what a sweet reminder from God today.                                                

I miss you, Billy!