BABY BOOMER BEFUDDLEMENT

       

  Many people know the lesson of the Frog in the Kettle…where the Frog just hops out of the pot of boiling water if you try to toss him in. Of course, I’m still trying to figure out how any human being was ever inspired to cook a slimy frog in the first place….but I digress.  These nameless (and hungry) people learned that if you put a frog in a pot of water at room temperature, then slowly let it reach a boil, the unsuspecting frog gets cooked without ever sensing danger. 

          We can thank George Barna for bringing this analogy to our attention.  As much as I resent being compared to a slimy, brainless frog, the truth is we swim around in our pot (our culture) with the temperature rising dramatically, but the losses and concessions are so incremental we fail to take action. 

          This fable can be applied to an almost endless list of changes that we Baby Boomers have witnessed so far in our lives, but I find myself navigating a bizarre and uncharted “Twilight Zone” of culture that has resulted in befuddlement and frustration.  What is this activity that I have engaged in that has brought about such dismay?  I have found myself in the ranks of at least 10% of all Americans right now; I am looking for a job! 

          As a Baby Boomer, I clearly remember the lessons my parents taught us about putting our best foot forward.  I was to bring my resume and letters of recommendation with me, dress professionally, start early, be confident, and look the interviewer in the eye. 

Imagine my shock when I learned that most companies don’t even want job seekers to walk through their doors.  They don’t have a place for those resumes even if you did walk in.  Everything is done on line.  Suddenly I feel like I am living in George Orwell’s 1984. 
          I have nothing against computers (at least most of the time), but Dang! Let’s see what happens when a computer takes over this formerly human aspect of employment. There are about 30 employment recruitment companies online that now have my resume and probably enough personal information to steal my identity and sell it to some guy named Nicolai.

They send me emails three times a day with “hot job prospects” which I sift through and respond to or delete. If you have engaged in this process in the last 10 years or so, you may also realize that for some reason when you apply for a job on line, you are guaranteed to become very popular with the “Education” crowd.  These are hard sell companies who call you on your cell phone to tell you how desperately you need to get an “Associates Degree” (never mind that I already have a Bachelor’s Degree).  This crowd loves me so much that they call me four times a day to encourage me to go back to school.   

A few days ago some company in Memphis called to tell me that my resume looked like I would be a good fit for their branch office in Fort Worth, Texas, where I now live.  They set up an interview with an actual human being at their office.  Please understand that my resume is very eclectic with experience in writing everything from news copy and magazine articles to promotional materials and radio commercials.  It also includes on air radio experience, and enough clerical work to lead me to consider jobs as an "Administrative Assistant” which is the PC term for secretary. 

          So…with a positive attitude, a professional demeanor, and plenty of time to navigate the Interstate Highways of Fort Worth, I set off for my interview at the mysterious and generic-sounding company. My GPS guided me through the maze of construction and warehouses until it landed me at a suspiciously plain brick building in an industrial, and dare I say sketchy part of town?

    Picture if you will the memorable scene in What's Up Doc, where Madeline Kahn finds herself in an uncomfortable place.   My radar on alert, I entered the office which ironically included the word “Security” in its title.  The receptionist handed me a stack of forms the like of which I had not seen since we closed on our last house. She directed me to a room with a table and chairs and asked me to fill them out.  One hour and two fountain pens later, I returned the stack of completed forms, and asked a couple of important questions. 1. “Why did I have to give permission attend a security certification class?   2. “Why did I have to agree to pay for the State of Texas fingerprint and background check out of my first paycheck? 3. What is this job? Important questions all!
          Apparently the corporate office in Memphis felt that I would be a perfect “Receptionist” for this Security Company.

By receptionist I mean, that person who runs the metal detector wand over people when they are entering or leaving a large office and checks briefcases of the trusted employees when they are exiting the building. The human I finally spoke to was very nice. We enjoyed the chat immensely, but we both knew rather quickly that this job was not, in fact, a very good fit. Thank you computerized employment world!  

          As a Baby Boomer in a Generation X (or is it Y or is it Me) world, I feel as though I'm living in a world I don't entirely recognize.  I freely admit I'm hopelessly old fashioned.  I long for the days of human interaction, and assessment of the individual rather than the computer profile. Ribbit...