When you least expect it, the most ordinary objects in your life will turn on you and bite you right in the rear end! Have you ever reached for something only to discover that through some cosmic mix-up you have grabbed something entirely different?
Toothpaste became hemorrhoid cream, shampoo became bath oil, and one of my personal favorites which only happens when putting make-up on in a dark car on the way to church....eye liner became lip liner. Not that I've ever had any personal experience with any of these (if anyone says they saw me at church with black lips, they're lying).
As a good citizen, I feel I should warn you about some possible pitfalls just waiting to happen. Vitamins for instance can be wonderful, but you must beware! On the good side of the vitamin controversy are grown-up Gummi supplements that make the struggle to remember to take a vitamin everyday a thing of the past. 
As soon as I discovered the giant jar of colorful, chewy yummiliciousness labeled "Multi-Vitamins" I never again forgot another day of healthy supplements. Not only that, but soon after I acquired the first bottle of vitamins, I happened upon a massive jar of chewy Vitamin C. I know a good thing when I see it. My overall health has improved dramatically. Soon I will acquire the chew-able calcium tablets and the B12 gummis. Then I will be like She Ra, Princess of Power!
As soon as I discovered the giant jar of colorful, chewy yummiliciousness labeled "Multi-Vitamins" I never again forgot another day of healthy supplements. Not only that, but soon after I acquired the first bottle of vitamins, I happened upon a massive jar of chewy Vitamin C. I know a good thing when I see it. My overall health has improved dramatically. Soon I will acquire the chew-able calcium tablets and the B12 gummis. Then I will be like She Ra, Princess of Power!
Of course the very thing I celebrate now caused a crisis in my little world when my children were young. You see, not only did I constantly forget to take my own vitamins, but I usually neglected to give them to my children. Then one day I saw the answer staring at me in the grocery store.
Flintstones vitamins! I would keep these on hand and my children would beg to have their daily dose! I was a genius! I carefully selected a box of Flintstones vitamins plus iron because I was a good mother, and I was going to give my children every possible advantage!
These were the Pediatricians number one choice! It said so right on the box! I congratulated myself all the way home, and placed the treasured bottle on the kitchen counter right next to my coffeemaker so I would never again
forget to help my children in this manner!
As I stumbled to the coffeemaker the next morning, thankful for the extra thirty minutes of sleep, I found my two industrious toddlers happily waiting for me on TOP of the kitchen counter. They smiled displaying their stained teeth and chins, proudly showcasing the empty "candy" jar they had just demolished. Oh dear! How many vitamins were too many? I contacted the Pediatricians office and learned that indeed you CAN get too much iron in your system. They would need to see the boys right away. Until that morning, they boys thought of the Doctor's office as a magical place where you got a sucker and stickers. It was almost as good as Chuck E. Cheese. That illusion was shattered in one brief visit. My sweet little walking garbage disposals obediently drank down the Ipecac syrup, happily staring at me with trusting eyes. Then it hit. The vomiting began. Up came the brightly-colored vitamins they were so excited about. The fountain continued. Next came the chicken nuggets from dinner the night before. The boys stared with horrified looks of utter betrayal as their stomachs turned inside-out, letting go of goodies that entered their systems in utero.
That was the day that going to the doctor transformed from a cake-walk into navigating a minefield. Never again would it be routine. If you have ever wondered what kind of memory a two and three year old have, let me assure you it is legendary.
Sometimes we just outsmart ourselves. We fall into potentially dangerous areas because of a simple mix-up. Unfortunately, the only lesson I seemed to learn from this incident was that I would never again give my children vitamins.
Fast forward about 6 years. Curiously, both of my boys had been diagnosed with ADD. Each morning before school, I would dispense their tiny little tablet of Ritalin. One morning after they swallowed their medication and gathered their books and supplies for school, I reached over on the counter for my own Thyroid medicine, also a tiny tablet. I stared at it. Something was wrong. My tablets were a pale blue, this tablet was a pale pink. I grabbed the bottle and took a closer look. Oops. I had the wrong one. I had just given both of my boys Thyroid medicine. I reluctantly called the school nurse. At least this time there was no need for ipecac. Their teachers and the nurse observed them uneasily all day, then gladly gave them back to me at the end of the day. Whew! Crisis averted.
This tendency to disguise things as something else never seems to stop. My husband and I recently attended a beautiful wedding in Charlotte, North Carolina. After the ceremony we drove to a stunning country club where we sat at tables on the immaculately manicured lawns. We were served delicious ice-cold glasses of sweet tea as we awaited the wedding party. It was a bit warm and humid and that sweet tea really hit the spot. I'm not really a drinker of adult beverages, and usually I can detect even the faintest hint of alcohol in something. I simply don't like it. But imagine my surprise when I discovered (after 3 glasses) that this tea was made with "Fire Fly" vodka. WHAT? I don't remember a whole lot about that wedding reception except that it was really, really fun!
Things can often deceive us. It is a wonder that we ever survive into adulthood and beyond.
