The waves are washing up on the shore not far from my little perch as I write. I don't want you to quit reading just because I'm in paradise right now. (Thanks Daniel Karr, my extraordinary nephew and photographer for this view!) The flavor of my experiences hasn't really changed much, it is just that the environment has become decidedly more exotic.The only drawback about being in paradise is that I brought my accident-prone, scatter-brained self with me. Don't get me wrong, this is a vacation of a lifetime! My husband's first visit to Hawaii, and my first after a very long absence. I have a love for this spot that goes back just about as far as my memory will take me. My parents were missionaries in Japan, so we "had" to stop in Hawaii on the way to and from our destination for about a week at a time. I honestly don't know how many times I've been here, but I can tell you that my earliest memories include a Waikiki beach with little more than two hotels on it (The Royal Hawaiian and the Moana). So you get the drift...I'm older than dirt, and I love Hawaii. This trip is made even more special by the fact that my parents (89 and 90 years old) are here too. I don't get to see them nearly often enough, so I am doubly blessed!
After my first good night's sleep in paradise, and my reminder of all of the scantily-clad lithe young bodies parading around without a shred of self-consciousness, I decided to visit the work-out facility at the hotel. Right by the door were two elliptical machines. One of them was occupied by a man who appeared to be in his seventies, but remarkably fit. The other one beckoned me, reminding me to go easy on my bum knee. Okay, I thought as I looked at all of the fitness freaks on equipment that had been conceived in the lab of some evil genius whose day job was black ops. "I will not be discouraged! I will exercise until my sweat is dropping freely to the floor!" I climbed onto the elliptical which reminded me a bit of mounting a horse. I put my feet on each step, and pushed my right foot in an effort to get the rotation started. Nothing happened. I transferred all of my impressive weight onto my right leg. Nothing happened. I glanced self-consciously at the elderly man moving at Mach IV on the machine beside me, and decided the machine must need to be turned on FIRST.
I switched my attention to the screen in front of me as my feet strained to move the gears inch by inch. Whose idea was it to make the controls of an exercise device look like a cock pit? I noticed that one of the buttons was marked in green and said "quick start". Aha! Nothing happened. My legs were burning with the effort to move the gears incrementally. I punched the button three more times in case it was confused by my intent. Still no life on the control panel. The Olympic athlete on my right glanced over at me and said, "Oh, you have to get your feet moving before you start the machine, just move your legs and get it started then you can push the button."
It took all of my acting ability to remain calm. What did he think I had been doing for the last two minutes? My legs were shaking from the effort, and sweat had popped out on my brow, and I had not even gotten the machine started yet!
Clearly I had selected the most difficult machine in the entire torture chamber! Then Mr. Olympus said, "I just have three more minutes left, then I will help you get started." I gritted my teeth. "Thanks". Something about my desperation must have gotten my feet moving just enough that when I pushed the button this time, the cockpit lit up like a Christmas tree. I looked for the button that said "easy", but my defective machine didn't have it. My legs were straining in slow motion, and the timer (also obviously defectively slow) began to count on the display. I put my heart and soul into the arm and leg movements of the machine....pumping.....pumping for what was surely 20 minutes. Mr. Killjoy on the machine next to me finally slowed to a stop and looked at me saying cheerfully, "There, my last three minutes. Oh good, you got it going." (Three minutes indeed! All of the timers in the facility were clearly not working) "You can change the intensity with this dial right here," he said as he rolled a dial up and down.
I smiled my first genuine smile of the morning! And immediately moved the dial in a downward motion. "Uh, it won't go down any more than that," he said awkwardly. I smiled my very best fake smile and thanked him dismissively. A quick look at my timer showed that I had endured for 4 minutes. Sweat was pouring off of me and I was huffing and puffing. My goal was one more minute (or until the Olympian disguised as an old man left the room). My first and last workout lasted 8 minutes. But the good news? The machine assured me that I burned 35 calories!!
That evening my World War II Veteran father took us to Hickham Air Field to see the mortar damage and the monuments surrounding the Pearl Harbor attack. There is no better guide than someone who knows the names on the plaques personally.
Then we all feasted on Mongolian Bar-B-Q at the Officers Club. After all, I needed to build back those 35 calories that I burned. Real Mongolian Bar-B-Q is so much better than the chain store variety. It is my hope that all of my readers can enjoy the experience for themselves sometime. My parents, one sister and her husband, a niece and nephew, and of course my husband were all there enjoying the experience and the laughter. When we finally selected our fortune cookies, I laughed at the funny and appropriate sayings that everyone opened. My husband had jokingly said earlier that day, "Never do today what you can put off for tomorrow." Now he was faced with a fortune that said just the opposite. My niece, Ashley, had been to the doctors office just that morning with a fever and infection. Her fortune said, "Don't just treat the symptoms, root out the cause." I eagerly opened my cookie to find this encouraging little tidbit.
Humph! Just because I made a fool of myself in the fitness center, I didn't need to sit here and be mocked by a cookie! I ignored it just as I did all fortunes. I was above such nonsense! We talked and laughed a bit more, enjoying the beauty of the "Missing man Formation" monument.
Then several of our group decided to get another fortune cookie. Ha, I laughed to myself, I'll show them. I will get a better fortune this time! I happily selected another cookie and eagerly broke into it. This is what I saw!
Well, one is easy to ignore. Two of the same fortune is a little more difficult. So, I resigned myself to finding a little relevance in the little saying. As the week wore on and my cell phone disappeared, I heard the little voice saying...."Even Babe Ruth struck out sometimes!" All my pictures of Hawaii were gone! Then I started thinking about all of those home runs Babe Ruth accomplished. If he struck out sometimes, what was he doing all those other times? I thought about my 10 days in paradise....definitely a home run. I thought about the quality time with my husband and my parents....another home run.
All the kind people we met on our travels were another home run! We have so much to be thankful for! I refuse to let the loss of a cell phone define my mood! Home Run!
